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3 am questions on millennial love

It’s 2:30 am and I still can’t sleep. I keep my book to a side as I just can’t relate to the current scene. It makes absolutely no sense to me.

I find it extremely absurd that, just a page ago, the main character only slightly begins to notice a boy in her college looking at her with “warmth in his eyes” (as if people can actually see that); and then a few pages later when he confesses his love for her, she is shocked (naturally) and, does the most natural thing, say “I love you too” (logic: now that you say it, I feel it too).

I mean like, seriously?

A few lines later she keeps her head on his shoulder and feels a sense of warmth as he tells her about all the times he secretly observed her and wrote poems on her (Umm…Creepy, to say the least).

I close my book and keep it on a side mumbling to myself on how ridiculous this story is. Then, I reflect on an incident that a colleague of mine shared in the morning with me.

Honestly, I was quite pissed with this colleague because he was literally telling me his life story throughout the day.

Initially, those were travel stories and then they got personal. I recalled my unease and irritation.I didn’t want to spend my brain cells on his story about the “almost relationships” he had had, while travelling here and there, on his job. All his stories, had one common emotion though. The moment the ship started to rock or the ship wanted to leave the shore, he left the ship.

He cribbed at length about how absurd it was for one of his work colleagues to be enraged when he started going around with his neighbour or how ridiculous it was for him when one of his ex-girlfriends, asked him to “stay in touch” when he was leaving the country.

Well like you, despite the feeling of “why are you telling me this”, I too was nodded my head in agreement.

This is what makes absolute sense to us millennials, I introspected.

I don’t think we believe in the existence of love. At least the romantic side seems forced and fake.

I couldn’t imagine the love story situation that the main character of my book had at any point in time, even though our generation is infamous as the “fast track generation” that swipes for love.

Are we moving too fast in our lives with the ideas of “love comes slowly”? are we spoilt by choice? do we even believe in the existence of “long term” love? what is love for the millennial generation after all? how do we even love each other? do we really love anything at all?

It’s 3 am now. If nothing, millennials are right about the 3 am deep conversations.

With these lingering questions in my mind, I decided to head to my bed.

Maybe someday I’d find an answer or maybe I would come back another time about another 3 am question on millennial love :’)

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Posted in First date, love, tiny tales

The bill

First Date

“You already paid the bill?” he exclaimed
Same clothes. Same date. Same restaurant.

 She hadn’t imagined that one year down the line she’d have something money couldn’t buy.

 

 

 

Posted in Uncategorized

Vodka coffee wheel

In this generation of vodka and coffee, how do I find love? In this life of human pyramids where everyone races to be on top, how do I find ambition? In this world of swipes, likes and fake profiles how do I trust? In an existence of dope laughs and filtered smiles, how do I find happiness? In a place where everyone is deluded and depressed, how do I find meaning? 

In a world where impact is important, but change is unwelcome. Where nights are spent with Vodka induced smiles and mornings spent drowning our dreams in coffee, working towards places we aren’t sure we want to reach, holding hands of people we aren’t sure we’ll see the next time the vodka coffee wheel spins.

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Dear Diary,

Dear Diary,

We over think, over imagine and perceive our difficulties as catastrophic!

“We perceive our past as sweeter than it was, our present worse than it is, and our future more uncertain than it would be. 

I realize we pay too much attention to people and things that are irrelevant! We fail to see that in the end everything works out, everything turns out well.. and if it doesn’t then it’s not the end.. the best is yet to come!

So what can you do right now?

Karam! Do your work to the best of your abilities. Take a deep breath and believe that god has certain plans for you. Have faith that those plans are good!”

~ Sincerely

The old me.

Meri tareefon ke pul bandhne walon,

Mere husn ke kaseede padhne walon,

Kabhi meri rooh ko bhi jhank kar deko,

Iss chand si soorat main zakham bhi hain.
(English Meaning)

You who praises me,

You who sees me as beautiful,

See the depth of my soul sometimes,

This moon like pretty face has wounds on it.

Zakham (Wounds)

Posted in shayaris, tiny tales

Noor (Love yourself)

Kudrat ke ae hasin noor,

Teri paheliyan ajab hain.

Afsos! Jisne inhen pehchana nahin,

Voh tere kabil nahin.        

(English meaning)

You’re a gift of nature,

Your mysteries are mesmerising.

Oh! The fools who don’t see them,

Aren’t worth your beauty.

Tere ishq ki qadar hai mujhe,

Ae mere ashiq,

Tu mujhe beparwah mat thehra.

Meri masroofiyat ke bahane,

Tu mujhe zalima mat kehla.

(English meaning)

I value your love,

Oh my darling,

It’s not that I don’t care.

Don’t let my lack of time,

Make you see me as the devil.


Masroofiyat (Being Busy)

Stars🌟 & sparkles 🌌

​I never thought,

I’ll know someone like you,

I never thought,

We’d ever click.

You were like this breath of fresh air,

that twinkle in your eyes,

that hope and innocence,

that cute little smile.

You made me feel young again,

the childish flutters felt again,

your stories, like an adventure;

your heart, like a snowflake;

bright , pure, simple & gentle.

You took me in and held me close,

cracked open my inner doors,

Said all those sweet lies,

That made me feel beautiful and nice.

Then there were times,

I saw your wantonness,

You opened your heart,  so vulnerable;

if only I could trust someone.

As I felt your fire enclosing,

I couldn’t take it anymore,

without a word or a final bye,

with disregard to your open confessions,

I let in my demons.

Convinced myself this wasn’t right,

thought it was an idea real bright,

to leave before it hurts,

Maybe I was mistaken,

maybe it does.

But that hurt is bitter-sweet,

You were like that wishing star,

you had to go away,

but you lit up my world.

Made me realize there was more to me,

made me fall in love with myself,

for that you will always be special,

finally found a nickname for you,

my star it’s ‘Twinkle’.

Esha Chandel

By fishbowlinmyhead.wordpress.com

 

Posted in Uncategorized

Conditional Friendship

Oh okay sure you don’t want to talk,
Oh okay sure you are busy,
Oh okay sure you are anti social,
Oh okay sure I’ll just let you be.

Yes I am always available,
Yes I have no one else,
Yes your sweet lies sting my soul,
Yes you’re too good.

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Yes I got a golden opportunity,
Yes I worked hard for it,
Yes I found new passions,
Yes I befriended better souls.

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Oh okay sure you wanna talk,
Oh okay you are at my beck and call,
Oh okay you want some favours,
Oh okay that’s all.

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