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Vodka coffee wheel

In this generation of vodka and coffee, how do I find love? In this life of human pyramids where everyone races to be on top, how do I find ambition? In this world of swipes, likes and fake profiles how do I trust? In an existence of dope laughs and filtered smiles, how do I find happiness? In a place where everyone is deluded and depressed, how do I find meaning? 

In a world where impact is important, but change is unwelcome. Where nights are spent with Vodka induced smiles and mornings spent drowning our dreams in coffee, working towards places we aren’t sure we want to reach, holding hands of people we aren’t sure we’ll see the next time the vodka coffee wheel spins.

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Dear Diary,

Dear Diary,

We over think, over imagine and perceive our difficulties as catastrophic!

“We perceive our past as sweeter than it was, our present worse than it is, and our future more uncertain than it would be. 

I realize we pay too much attention to people and things that are irrelevant! We fail to see that in the end everything works out, everything turns out well.. and if it doesn’t then it’s not the end.. the best is yet to come!

So what can you do right now?

Karam! Do your work to the best of your abilities. Take a deep breath and believe that god has certain plans for you. Have faith that those plans are good!”

~ Sincerely

The old me.

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Stars🌟 & sparkles 🌌

‚ÄčI never thought, 

I’ll know someone like you, 

I never thought, 

We’d ever click.  

You were like this breath of fresh air, 

that twinkle in your eyes, 

that hope and innocence, 

that cute little smile. 

You made me feel young again, 

the childish flutters felt again, 

your stories, like an adventure;

your heart, like a snowflake;

bright , pure, simple & gentle. 

You took me in and held me close,

cracked open my inner doors, 

Said all those sweet lies, 

That made me feel beautiful and nice. 

Then there were times, 

I saw your wantoness, 

You opened your heart,  so vulnerable;

if only I could trust someone. 

As I felt your fire enclosing, 

I couldn’t take it anymore, 

without a word or a final bye, 

with disregard to your open confessions, 

I let in my demons. 

Convinced myself this wasn’t right,

thought it was an idea real bright, 

to leave before it hurts, 

Maybe I was mistaken, 

maybe it does. 

But that hurt is bitter-sweet, 

You were like that wishing star, 

you had to go away, 

but You lit up my world.

Made me realise there was more to me,

made me fall in love with myself, 

for that you will always be special, 

finally found a nickname for you, 

my star it’s ‘Twinkle’🌟

Esha Chandel
By fishbowlinmyhead.wordpress.com
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Conditional Friendship

Oh okay sure you don’t want to talk,
Oh okay sure you are busy,
Oh okay sure you are anti social,
Oh okay sure I’ll just let you be.

Yes I am always available,
Yes I have no one else,
Yes your sweet lies sting my soul,
Yes you’re too good.

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Yes I got a golden opportunity,
Yes I worked hard for it,
Yes I found new passions,
Yes I befriended better souls.

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Oh okay sure you wanna talk,
Oh okay you are at my beck and call,
Oh okay you want some favours,
Oh okay that’s all.

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RUIN ME

I don’t want to abandon my dreams…
I don’t want to drown in your love…
I don’t want to break my walls…
I don’t want your love to flood in…
I don’t want to lose my breath…
I don’t want love to ruin me…

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Ruin me...

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Maybe…

He is a tired soul,
He doesn’t waste a minute!
He pushes his boundaries,
He achieves things she doesn’t!

She wants to know him more,
He is the only one who feels so close.
He talks but always in a hurry,
‘I’m not good enough!’, she worries…

He hides behind a mask of diplomacy,
Always the nice guy,
Never being personal or rude!
She begs him, ‘At least be frank with me dude!’

Hiding what he truly feels,
He expresses himself in the field.
Breaking his geek image,
He plays his heart out on the stage…

Is it her success, status or her clinging,
Making him never go away,
But never really stay.
Is it a need for a boy’s company,
She is still unsure of this feeling…

Maybe he fears the same.
Uncertain of future successes,
Refusing to recognise feelings,
He’s afraid of breaking his dreams…

Maybe she fears the same,
Seeing girls played like a game.
Afraid to break her rules,
Certain this never lasts…

Maybe in a world without time clocks,
Where the truth is appreciated,
Where there isn’t a modern war,
Pitching dreams and happiness,
Would he finally remove his mask,
And she her insecurities,
And maybe they’ll truly meet then…

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Maybe...
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Break free🌌

You are just a pretty face,
A flower so delicate,
A jewel that shimmers,
A star that glimmers!

You aren’t meant to rise!
You aren’t going to survive!
You aren’t a boy,
You weren’t made to fly!
So why do you even try?

But I am a butterfly!
I can glow and I can glide!
For your eyes, why should I hide?
On the horses of hope I’ll ride!
And achieve my dreams,
to your surprise!
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